The Other Woman or His side chick

Sometimes life can deal you such a horrible hand.It is that moment when you have to choose the correct path to take…

I have this issue that has been weighing heavily on my mind for awhile now. You know the saying, “The Other Woman” or “Side Chick” well I  was just that 11 years ago.

It started out as a friendly conversation between  he and I. We met online,which then lead to conversations via telephone. He was such the sweet  and romantic guy. He would wake me up with a “Good Morning Beautiful” Text every morning. What lady doesn’t like that? Then throughout the Day ,I would receive “I miss you ” text or “Thinking of you” texts. Yes, I was growing deeper and deeper into this guy.   After about a month of texting, we turned it into calling one another. The calls were always in the morning late afternoon or really late at night. I should have noticed something then but I was blinded by his romanticism. He was telling me everything that I wanted to hear. I then told myself, that I should back away a little bit because this guy is way too good to be true! besides we lived in different states, he was in Rhode Island and I was in Las Vegas…. I didn’t want to get to deeply involved and then get hurt because we would never be able to see one another. Now what I should have been thinking was, is this guy in a relationship? Is he married? No!!!! that never crossed my mind. Only the distance between us did.

Going further along into the relationship, 9 months to be exact he introduces me to his teenage daughter, (via phone of course). She was a jewel she and I connected instantly! When her dad would punish her or treat her unfairly she would call me and ask me to talk to him. Which I did on many occasions because that’s just how fond I was of her. The more she and I became close the more I was starting to fall deeper in love with her dad. So a year has passed, still in this long distance relationship, but he finally tells me that he loves me and he wants to be with me.Imagine the shock I was in! Is this really happening!  Are we really going to be together after a year of talking over the internet and phone? We began making plans to find a place to live together ,since I was already in Vegas I just suggested that he move in with me..He accepted the offer and we were both so excited to finally be together..

2 months before he was to come out here and be with me permanently he needed some money sent to him..He had left that on a text. This was his first time asking for money so I was gonna go ahead and send it because I was just that much in love with him. Of course I had questions though, so I decided to call him, a girl answers the phone, it didn’t sound like his daughter I was close with, so I asked for him by his name. She questioned me with this sarcastic voice for a good 2- 3 minutes… Then finally his daughter ( the one I have been conversing with) gets on the phone and tells me that her dad wasn’t home at the time and that she would tell him that I called. Ok! RED FLAG WARNINGS! finally starting to lay in my head! WTH! what is going on? Was that his girlfriend? his wife? SO naturally I was pissed.  When he got home he called me , first thing I did was lighten into him! I gave him such a mouthful, and I finally asked the question,”ARE YOU MARRIED?” he explained to me that he had more than just the daughter I was speaking with, he had 4 more children. I thought for a minute, “so five kids total?”I asked. ” He acknowledge that and began to apologize, saying that he didn’t think I would still want to be with him if I knew he had that many children.Not once did he acknowledge the fact that he was married.. I took a deep breath because I was relieved he wasn’t married or in a relationship,so I thought. Then I explained that I love children I have two of my own and it wouldn’t bother me , so he should have told me in the beginning. He apologized again and we went back to normal. No I never sent the money though, cause I was still kinda pissed. So another month has passed,and another one, then the final month, the month that we are supposed to live together, I get phone call from my daughter(step-daughter I called her) She explained to me that she likes me way too much to keep this lie away from me.  Ok , my heart just totally dropped into my shoes! What now? I was thinking to myself. She explained to me that her dad is married, he has 5 other children besides her and her brother( that’s a total of seven children) She gave me the woman’s name and everything and told me to call the house if I didn’t believe her. I was in shocked!!! I didn’t know what to say!She even had her boyfriend, who I became close with as well to get on the phone and verify that she wasn’t lying. I believed her though, because that’s the relationship that we had. She would tell me everything! She even told me that she was pregnant. I thanked her, told her that I still love her and I had to get off the phone. I was livid!! I wanted to tear right into him right then and there. When he called me later that night, I didn’t give him the chance to say anything… I tore into him so much. How could he lie to me! All this time! D0 you know what his excuse was? “I fell so deeply in love with you I thought if I told you, I would lose you.” Hell yeah! Your thoughts would have been accurate! I am not a homewrecker!I don’t date married men!!! so now I’m known as the other woman…………(to be continued)

I know this is a random post, but I have been thinking a lot about this lately.

Ms.Raqci

 

You are Amazing!!

This is the 3rd week in January ,how is it going so far for you? Have you set your goals, do you look at them daily?

I did not make any resolutions this year. I never keep to them, I will follow through with them maybe for the first week of the new year, then I’m done. Mainly because the goals I set for myself would be so far fetched! To follow through with your goals, you must set realistic ones. Like with me, I want to lose weight, but instead of saying(like I use to) my new year resolution is to lose weight. Well, I could lose a pound and be satisfied because I lost weight. You get where I’m going with this? What I should have written down was, I plan on losing 15 pounds by June 1,2016…That way I can look at that goal daily and follow through with it.

I’ve also found(through experience) that when you continue to follow the same path Daily, you are going to stay in the exact same place where you are right now. You will not grow you will not prosper, your life will stay the same. Don’t you want a happy fulfilled life? You must be willing to make a change. Change is inevitable to be honest. Changes occur daily in our lives and we must be willing to accept and adapt with the changes. Open your hearts and your minds, let new experiences enter your world. Don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone! Go out and Live!

What is keeping you from achieving your dreams? Your goals? With me it was a number of things; money, knowledge and  fear. Mostly it was fear. I always had in the back of my mind, what are people going to think of my ideas. Will they like the path that I am taking to pursue my dream? Will they like me? It was fear of being accepted. I now realize that, and I now really don’t care what others think of me or my dreams, because I am living my life for me and I am doing what I love, what I want. Stop allowing others to embed into your mind self-loathing. You are beautiful, smart, courageous outgoing, need I go on? You know where I am trying to go with this! Believe in YOU! Love YOURSELF! then when you start realizing your worth, others will take note and begin to love you back. Believe that you can do anything you set your mind on…

Well its time for me to start working on my company’s website a little more. I have been struggling with it, but you know what, I never gave up. I wont give up and it will come to fruition. So my lovelies, go out and be GREAT! Do YOU! Believe in YOU! I already do, believe in YOU! YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Peace and Lots of Love and Belief

from Ms.Raqci to YOU

 

Wishful Thinking…PowerBall HA!

Well, here I am again, sitting in front of my computer working ,which means I didn’t win the Powerball…lol Hell I didn’t even play. You have to play to win right?  I can remember a few years back, when the pot reached I think it was 500 million. I drove 45 minutes to Primm NV/CA, to stand in a line that wrapped itself around the building twice, for over 4 hours and not win anything! I told myself after that, I will never do it again! I mean why couldn’t I even get a free play or 2 dollars ,something?

After speaking with a few people, I realize that the amount of money is what gets them going. A billion dollars can you believe it!. Well yeah after Uncle Sam gets his cut, it wont be a billion, but it will still be more than you already have… I always say. Of course I would be ecstatic winning that amount of money! Who wouldn’t be? I could live the comfortable life that I always wanted, I could start my business ventures much faster, I could help my children with their careers, I could make sure that  my family is set for life. All that is fine and dandy, but my perception of it all, is for a better life, I have to work my butt off. Nothing worth having comes easy in my opinion.So, I don’t mind getting up in the morning, coffee in hand, and start working on something that I love doing.

There was one thing I was very pissed off by, and I cant blame anyone but me…The numbers that came in: 4,8,19,27,34,10, I would have had 5 out of the six numbers!!!! Arrrgh I could kick myself in the butt over and over and over again!!! So by being stubborn and not playing, I missed out on a piece of the jackpot! 4,8,27,34 and 10 are numbers that I always play! Sigh, but oh well….You win some you lose some…Ok ok, let me get back to work before I give myself a headache thinking about that…Hahaha… Have a good one guys!

 

Peace, love and hugs from ME to YOU,

Ms.Raqci

Me vs the Weight…..

Ever have those days of just being frustrated as all hell when it comes to your weight loss journey? I am having one serious meltdown! For the first few days, I am all for it… Drinking lots of water (a gallon to be exact!), eating healthy and exercising..After the 3rd day, I’m falling off course! Gosh you just don’t know how mad this makes me! I cant blame anyone but myself for this.

See, I am the go-to person for every problem that arises in my family. Which I allow to stress me out, then I just sit and watch TV, while eating healthy foods, like chips, cookies, drinking sodas , just not caring about anything at that point. I make food my go to friend. The friend that I can always count on to make me feel better. To give me a sense of comfort. Ha! I am not doing anything but making things worse for myself! I know deep down that food is not my friend. It isn’t an enemy either. So what can I do to  make this a common ground between myself and food?

First things first. I must not believe in my mind that food is my friend. I need to have a better understanding of what food can do to my body and my health. I must educate myself further on the foods that are important. Don’t get me wrong, I will not deprive myself from any of the foods that I like, but I will however, eat them in moderation. Not daily but weekly.. I find that if I deprive myself from a certain food,it makes me want that item more and more.

I’ve come to the conclusion though; That I must make up my own mind to want to live a healthier lifestyle. I love myself wholeheartedly, I know I am beautiful inside and out, but I also know that I have to get healthy. I need to rid myself of the back pain, the daily headaches, the fatigue. People will ask me, why do you want to lose weight, is there a guy involved? Hell no! I will never lose weight for anyone other than myself! I want to be around for my kids for my future grand kids.. So, I AM DOING THIS FOR ME!

Thanks for listening guys! LOL I had to rant a bit.. you can follow me on this journey if you wish, I’m on Instagram @ms.raqci and Twitter @msraqci

Have a Good Day!

Peace, love and Hugs from me to YOU!

Ms.Raqci

UNJUSTIFIED!!!!!

The Beginning of a New year and I’m still waking up hearing about Officer involved shootings. When will this end? Am I frustrated?Hell yeah! Do I want to do something about it? Definitely. What can one do alone! There are so many people out there that are complaining how our police departments are unfair and this and that, but not doing anything about it.

There are families out there that have lost loved ones because of  OIS. The most recent shooting, Keith Childress shot and killed by Police because he was holding a cellphone! A cellphone people! I understand that if an officer feels threatened he has every right to shoot, but shoot to kill? That’s a bit extreme! How bout shoot to subdue. after all there are how many officers to one person? 12,15 maybe more! Shoot the suspect to bring him down, (the leg the arm), but don’t kill them.

I understand that it is not only African American men that are being killed, and quite honestly I don’t want to see anyone killed by the barrel of a gun, but it has come to that.

I am only one person. I can start an organization, a march  some type of protest that will make these Police Departments change their ways of apprehension.. Don’t have the mentality of Shoot to Kill. Those of us that have voiced our opinions regarding this matter, need to come together and really take action! Words are great but they are just words. Let’s Take action! We need JUSTICE now! I’m TIRED!

Keith Childress, Tamir Rice,Eric Garner, Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown, John Crawford, Walter Scott, and Freddie Gray just to name a few of so many.

Till next time,

Ms. Raqci

 

Happy New Year!

It’s 2016! Can you Believe it! My how time flies. I thought about going out to ring in the New Year, but then I thought about it, I would rather bring in this New Year with my family. So I stayed home.

This Year I did not make any resolutions. I just made a vow to myself to set some goals(realistic ones) and stick to them! No matter what anyone throws at you the only person that can keep you away from achieving your dreams is YOU.

Start each Day with a smile and push all the negativity to the side. Never let anyone steal your joy. The only reason why people demean others is because you are going after what you want and they are sedimentary. not wanting to work hard for their success, they want everything to fall into their laps. NOT GONNA HAPPEN folks… sorry.

To make your dreams, visions,goals a reality; wake up each day and tell yourself.I CAN DO THIS! I WILL HAVE AN AMAZING DAY! I AM THE BEST! I AM BEAUTIFUL(HANDSOME) because if you don’t tell yourself these things, who will…You have to love and believe in yourself before anybody else can.

I’m going to end this post here, so that I can work on my other website, which is one of my Goals. To have my own Talent Management Company.

Have an Amazing Day!

Ms. Raqci

 

Infidelity

Well,since I’m sick with the Flu, I’ve decided to work on my Blog. Lately, there has been so many things going on in the world.. Terror Attacks, Terrorists threats, officer-involved shootings, pedestrian-vehicle fatalities; Until I am just sick of hearing about it, so I am going to focus on another touchy subject. INFIDELITY.

INFIDELITY: THE ACTION OR STATE OF BEING UNFAITHFUL TO YOUR SPOUSE AND/OR SEXUAL PARTNER.

a lot of people think that infidelity is strictly sexually cheating on your spouse/partner. It isn’t; There’s Emotional Infidelity as well. Sometimes a person is being emotionally put down on a daily basis by the one person they thought they were going to spend the rest of their lives with. Hearing such degrading things as “I don’t know why I ever got with you.” “You are so stupid.” “You will never amount to anything.” Why was I so stupid?” You get where I’m going with this right? Words of degradation, words that make you feel less than a person, but you love the one that is saying this too you and you just cant find it in your heart to leave.

Maybe your partner just doesn’t show you any concern at all. You’ve stopped talking to one another, when you explain your day to him/her its like they aren’t even listening and honestly don’t care. So, sooner or later you decide enough is enough and you venture out to find that someone that will be there for you when you need a shoulder to lean on, or just someone to listen to your concerns(good and Bad).. Still in the back of your mind, you know you aren’t leaving your partner/spouse. You build this Semi-Secret friendship, ( to boost your own ego) making sure that you still have it. That there is someone out there that finds you attractive and interesting,and willing to give you every ounce and moment of his/her time. Oh but in the back of your mind, this isn’t cheating! You aren’t having sexual relations … Hate to break this too you, but you are cheating.

Here’s my thing, and I am not casting Judgement ; If you are not happy within your relationship why don’t you just opt out of it? What reason(if you are unhappy) is there to stay? Yes, some of you may have kids, some may deal with it because of their religion..I mean cheating doesn’t always means that its over. I know several couples that have been through years and years of this emotional cheating and still are together today, so I guess it depends on the depth of the situation.

Ms.Raqci